sitting, waiting, wishing

you know, the jack johnson song? well i feel like it's my life right now. 

that probably makes me sound ungrateful and petty (i really am happy here) but in all honesty, i haven't seen E for five weeks now and we still have four more to go. 

it's not a huge deal. it's crazy how, even though we're only three hours apart now, we still have to wait as long as we did this summer to see each other (minus one week, if we're being technical). it's really not long in the scheme of things--i don't want you to think i hate this part of my life. i'm so glad to be doing well in school and have great friends and be working towards my degree.

and it's not just that. i feel like i'm just waiting for the time to come when i can finally, truly work on designing. here i am, just sitting and dreaming--i have all these great ideas in my head but no way for them to happen presently. all of the pointless homework and days wasted inside a classroom....sometimes i feel like it's holding me back from developing and experiencing my passion. sometimes i hate waiting. i really need to work on my patience. 

everything reminds me of my future, all the things i want that are right on the edge of my present, right there at the tip of my horizon. i know it will be here soon. i just get antsy looking at artwork and patterned pillows and milk glass trinkets, all the little details that inspire my design dreams. 

but for now, i guess i'll sit back and admire while i wait and wish some more.