on laptops and accidents and being present
From June 2018:
This morning, I accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. The laptop that I haven’t backed up in months. The laptop that houses all my photos, all my poetry and bits of writing that pop into my head at random moments. I spent a good two hours crying about it (which also included calling my mother for a good vent sesh) after I couldn’t get my laptop to turn on. But by the end of my disaster, I decided there was a silver lining.
It finally hit me that I spend so much time chained to my laptop that I not only fail to be productive with my days, but fail to be present. I talk a lot about being present and here I am, eyes glued to a digital screen instead of the world around me. So I stopped crying and decided to make some new memories instead of constantly dwelling on past ones. I took myself for a nice walk and discovered today was Frederick Pride on the creek. I sat in the sun and ended up taking a short nap before heading back inside to finish the book I’ve been reading. I made myself a delicious lunch, did some yoga, and even made jewelry. I also got a few loads of laundry done between all of this. And I’m planning to meditate, bake cookies, and watch a rom-com tonight before I go to bed.
What’s that saying—the days are long, but the years are short? Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I didn’t have a laptop, when the days did feel long and fulfilling and beautiful. I don’t need to go back though; I just need to be right here. Here, where I can admire the summer hydrangeas. Here, where I can just be.