My yoga practice has been long, yet mostly superficial and sporadic. I started it one summer as a young teen with my mother. Over the years, I've come back to yoga again and again whenever my soul has felt depleted, or my sense of direction obscured.
The past two years though, I've picked it up as a more serious practice. One with daily, or at least weekly, intention. It's not about just asanas, but all eight limbs of yoga: the meditation, concentration, non-attachment. But like any spiritual journey, there are setbacks and obstacles to hurdle.
I've asked myself many times over the last few months, what is holding you back? What is holding you back from living fully? Life is an ebb and flow, and most of the time I am content with where I am, but sometimes, instability rears its ugly head and I find myself asking to go deeper, to the root. What is stopping me from pursuing intention wholeheartedly?
I realized lately that the answer is, myself. I am my biggest obstacle. My own point of contention. It is my fear, my insecurities and my shortcomings that stop me up. There is no outside force holding me back. Just me.
I think it's this way for many of us. Of course, life circumstances are never perfect; there will always be finances, job security, relationships, and other responsibilities to worry about. But I think one of the largest problems we face are ourselves. Our beings and our minds that stop us up and tell us we are not good enough.
My intention has shifted over the two years to seek not perfection, which so commonly ailed me, but rather wholeness.
Perfection begs standard. Requirements. Expectations. Wholeness begs depth. Awareness. Openness. Consciousness.
There is no such as thing as perfection. Many of us type A personalities see it as a state of being, a destination to acquire. But life is not stagnant; it is constantly morphing and changing, second by second. If our intention shifts to wholeness, we are able to find a better flow in our routines, habits and goals. We are able to readjust, refocus and find balance at any point in our lives because we are not seeking a place. We are seeking mindfulness.
Here's a practice for today: don't allow your shortcomings to keep you from what you want. Don't be anxious about them--they are not keeping you from perfection, because we know that perfection does not exist. Let go. Acknowledge your shortcomings, accept them, and work through them. Work with wholeness. Become aware that wholeness is a practice, a progress, a journey that has no destination. Wholeness does not eliminate our weaknesses but embraces them and keeps going. It's a metamorphosis that continues on. When our intention and our focus is there, we can expand and grow more deeply and fully into the life we are meant to live.
Sending love and light out to the universe for all of you today. Stay soft.