goodbye summer, hello fall


Where did September go? 

As you all predicted, this last semester of college is just flying by. Only two months left, and the job search is as difficult as ever. But I have hope. There will be something. 

I've been trying to be better about managing my anxiety and expectations. It's really hard having so much uncertainty before me. I'm a bit of a control freak, always trying to plan my life out, and I can't really do that right now. I know it's a blessing in disguise. I need to start trusting God more and stop trying to plan my entire life out. I read an article today about how our 20's are a time for exploration, a time to get to know who we are as adults and what we'd like to work towards in the future--not the end all be all to our life and our career. It's hard to see that sometimes, especially for a perfectionist Type A like me. I love order and lists and planning and direction, and I've just realized over the past few years that I won't get it perfect the first time (or ever). I've never done this, and I'm starting out from the bottom, just like everyone else. Good things take time, and work, and patience, and passion. 

For September, I had a goal to be more present this month. And while I don't think I achieved it at all times, there were glimpses of it. Like stopping to take photos of flowers in the rain. Enjoying late night dinners downtown with friends. Attending a brilliant 1920's jazz orchestra concert with my roommate. Blogging less, reading more. And treating myself to a cup of chai tea. 

It's process, all of this. It's about the little moments, really. That perfect year, when I reach the place in my life I'm meant to be, where I finally have everything figured out, it doesn't exist--it's not in my future and it's not in my past. But that's not the goal. The goal is just to see. To feel, to experience, to dream, to reach, to embrace. To love.

Here's to October. Here's to putting myself out there. Taking those little chances that add up to big differences. Here's to a daily renewal of patience, reminders to show love, and countless lessons and mistakes.

Oh, and the winner of the Pretty Lovely Littles giveaway is Kendra from Open Spaces :) Congrats and thanks to all for entering!