on my heart


Yesterday, Megan and I spent the day together to take photos for my jewelry collection. 
But we grabbed lunch first at an adorable restaurant called Piquant. And I just have to say--it was much needed. 
This time with a girlfriend my age. Even if we didn't really know each other before. It was so refreshing and relaxing to share conversation and food and experiences, and just enjoy the company. 

Sometimes your heart doesn't know what it needs until you're there. For most of this summer, I've been alone. For a lot of people, that may seem like the most boring thing in the world, but I've loved the chance. I love spending time in solitude and I fully embrace it. I always find that I learn so much about myself, and as I've said before, my summers often feel like time for renewal. 

But aside from work--which I don't really think counts, does it?--I haven't "hung out" with anyone for quite some time. The first month or two here, it bugged me a little. As if I weren't good at the friend-making thing. But it's really hard to meet people, I've realized. Harder than I expected. So I've fallen into this rhythm of sorts, this quiet pace of reading, making, learning, writing. By myself.

Spending the afternoon with Megan was such a breath of fresh air. Being able to open up and share what's on my mind with someone besides Eric was beautiful. I feel like lately, even around friends, I've had such a hard time doing that anymore. I've had such a hard time finding strong friendships, and it's made me hesitant. Careful. But Megan is such a sincere, down-to-earth person, and it was so easy to just be in the conversation, and allow myself to be a bit vulnerable. 

I really think I needed that. I think I needed to see again that there are women out there who will be kind. Friendships that don't involve the drama and the selfishness. Relationships that can be open-minded, open-hearted, giving and forgiving, sweet and fun. Intentional and purposeful. 

I hope Megan and I get the chance to hang out again. And I hope I find other women like Megan. Because honestly, friendships with women are really important. I've got to stop convincing myself otherwise, out of fear or frustration or whatever it is. 

Good, kind friendships do exist.