ahh, it's that time of year again. in only two short days, i will be heading back to college for my last year (and a half). i guess not really back, seeing as i've transferred to another school. but there will still be classes and dining hall food and endless essays and printing money to dole out and...well, you get the gist.
am i excited? totally! i really think it'll be a great experience, meeting a ton of new people and making new friends, finishing up my degree in something i have always wanted. i'm ready to delve into my literature classes, examine and explore new pieces of writing, open myself up to new experiences and opportunities. i'm ready to start the end of my college career.
am i nervous? extremely so. i know i shouldn't be, but it's hard jumping right into the swing of things when everyone your year has already known each other for two years. i hope people are welcoming. i hope i am welcoming. this is so far outside of my comfort zone and sometimes it feels overwhelming.
but i have to do this. take a deep breath and just go. because i never want to regret this, ever. this time around, i want to focus on accepting myself. i want to focus on what i want and not adhere to the mainstream. i want to create my own path, create deep, meaningful friendships and be okay with who i am. be confident.
i've promised myself that i will do one thing outside of my comfort zone each day. this means many trips to restaurants and coffee shops by myself, hours in the library content to do work, going to the gym regularly, and whatever else my heart desires. beach trips, bike rides, anything that makes me happy.
so i guess going back to school isn't such a little deal for me. maybe this is another chance to start over, try try try again, to accept who i am, be who i am, and embrace who i am--wholeheartedly. another opportunity to give it a shot, start with a clean slate, and take my time figuring things out. no more rushing into things, no more stress and pressure and confusion. each day is a new chance to figure out who i am and what i want and i intend on using each and every one of those days.